Updated: Kidnappers’ Demands
Photo taken 11/19
[UPDATED 11/19]
Subject: Miss Doris: Our demands
We are YeHawd – an army fighting for the common good of our people.
She talks so much we have been force to gag her. We don’t care how much she misses talking to people when they wait for the elevator. We don’t care how long she has known Garth Brooks,
Craig Wiseman, Alan Jackson, Dierks Bentley or “that sweet little” Brad Paisley.
We demand $5,000,000 for the safe return of Ms. Doris. We wanted $10,000,000, but we are willing to take just $5,000,000 as her guards have taken a liking to her.
The money should be in unmarked bills. Leave the cash in a brown paper bag on the loading dock of the old Sony Records building (the old Quonset Hut location) this Saturday.
Remember. Aspirin bottles.
Miss Doris
[11/16] Miss Doris, the smiling face who stood guard at the ASCAP elevator for the last 17 years, was abducted over the weekend. The MusicRow staff received a mysterious ransom note this morning from the bandits.
We identify ourselves only as YeHawd – an army of people fighting for the rights of our people. We have Miss Doris. She is fine for now. Only a few cuts and scratches – the old girl can put up a fight. Yet she has not complained. She continues to stand for women everywhere.
We are holding Miss Doris for ransom and will contact you later with our demands. If our demands are met, Miss Doris will be returned unharmed. But, if our demands are not met we WILL send her to an aspirin factory where she will be dismembered and inserted in aspirin bottles.
Connie Bradley, ASCAP’s Nashville leader and longtime friend to Miss Doris, was so distraught she was not able to comment on the situation.
First they take the word ‘Country” and put on Rock and Roll and now they have taken Miss Doris!
what next, the Nudes (with Tamborine)at the circle?
Bob H
I beg of you to release Doris unharmed. She was always so helpful to me when visiting ASCAP. Please tell Connie Bradley when this ordeal is over
both Doris and her will have a suite waiting at the Gaylord Palms Hotel and Convention Center in Orlando, Florida for some much needed rest and relaxation.
Is this for real?
The kidnapping of Ms. Doris a tragedy. Ms. Doris never did anything bad to anybody. Sometimes I felt like she was my only friend on Music Row. Our hearts go out to Connie and everyone at ASCAP during this difficult time.
(P.S. Have the authorities questioned Mark Brown? He just bought a new car and he’s been seen a lot at the Palm recently.)
Oh my gracious…such a nice lady too.
I thought this was a joke, but I ran into Connie this weekend and she is pretty shaken up over this. Ms. Doris’ smile has greeted all of us for years! I hope YeHawd will get her back in time for Thanksgiving. “YeHawd” sounds like something from north of I-40…. Has anybody checked with Troy Tomlinson? I thought it might have been Pete Fisher, but he says he’s allergic to cotton.
Connie and everyone at ASCAP, Our thoughts and prayers are with you. We all hope Miss Doris is back home soon. I cannot imagine who would do such a thing. I guess someone who really needs the money – If only they had a proper financial plan to make it through times like this…